They’re baaaaack

After Mr New Year’s Eve crawled out of a hole last week, another two returned. I keep looking over my shoulder because it feels like the march of the undead sex zombies.

Someone sent an e-mail asking why I hadn’t been back in touch about a roleplay. My memory is usually sharp but I wondered who the hell he was and why on earth I’d be discussing a boss/secretary scenario (I spent enough years in real life being called ‘The Temp’ and misfiling documents to last a lifetime, thanks). I followed the e-mail trail and saw he was someone I had been in contact with and declined his proposal. He disappeared for six weeks before dropping by with a new e-mail name the same as a famous porn actor’s and a renewed approach that I had allegedly agreed to. I guess his ruse didn’t work.

The second person to express renewed interest was the man from April who at the last minute insisted I always wear an arse-skimming skirt and high heels or the deal was off. We’d had no contact since deciding it wasn’t going to work for either of us, yet all of a sudden after three months he would very much like to get together and play. No wonder I’m short tempered. Go away.

Is it the time of year? Other options exhausted and they’re hitting the recycling list? They can sense I’m sitting home knitting and letting my pubic hair grow instead of braving the elements in search of adventure? The only missing in action man from the past few months I’d want to hear from is Mr OMG, which of course will make him the least likely to be in contact again.


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